SCARED DAD FEEDING

How My Daughter’s Anorexia Took Me to Hell, and My Guidebook for How I Got Back

 

Scared Dad Feeding is part cathartic memoir of a horrific life spent treating a mental disorder, part call to arms for other parents in his community to open their eyes and ears to the reality of eating disorders, and part field guide for how parents can find a path through the darkness of hell that is anorexia.

“Don’t let Kevin’s wicked sense of humor fool you; Scared Dad Feeding is a heart wrenching and powerful book on a difficult subject: eating disorders. Kevin’s choice to be his daughter’s primary caregiver during his family’s journey gives him an up-close view of the overburdened US mental health care system, especially as it comes to diagnosing and treating eating disorders. In this book, Kevin shares his family’s experience fighting The Demon, both lessons learned and practical survival tips. Thank you, Kevin, for giving us hope and the courage to tackle our own family’s demons.”

-Leslie and Dave Morris

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kevin Olmsted is a proud Cal grad who has lived in Northern California for most of his life. He spent 23 years selling wine and was formerly a Certified Sommelier. Kevin quit working at the beginning of 2020 to help his daughter full time with her recovery from anorexia. She was first diagnosed in July 2019, and after various attempts at treatment, Kevin and his wife, Christina, learned that the gold standard for eating disorder recovery is to do it at home. Now that his daughter is three and a half years into recovery, Kevin wants to sound the alarm about how pervasive eating disorders are and how parents can recognize the signs that their children may be at risk. He also wants to be a resource for other parents who do not know where to turn in their time of crisis.

REFEEDING TO GET “SOBER”

If you are a caregiver for someone with anorexia, your job is to feed as many calories into that someone as possible. Your goal is to include fats, proteins, carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals in every meal. You need to embrace all foods, from meats to dairy to sugar. A malnourished body requires so many building blocks to not only regain the needed pounds, but to keep those pounds on permanently and to support all the systems of the body. Until and unless an eating disorder patient has been weight restored, there exists very little clarity and strength of mind required to address the underlying psychological issues that drive disordered behavior. And this task is Herculean, complicated and seemingly endless. I explore this concept more tactically in chapters 5, 8 and 13.

BUY the book
 

JOURNAL FOR REFEEDING

It really helps to keep a meal journal during the refeeding process, at least for the first three to four months. You may be really overwhelmed by all the moving parts, since you will be preparing up to three meals and three snacks a day. Make sure to list each meal or ingredient that you prepared, then check off whether or not your kid liked it (put up a fight?) and whether or not your kid finished it (needed liquid supplement?) Total up how many calories you think got into that kid’s belly in each day. Then at the end of the week, add up all seven days of calories and list that next to the amount of weight that was gained over that same period. I looked for a good format to use, but of course, what I found was that most of them are geared toward helping you LOSE weight. Attached is a simple outline that I created, please feel free to download and use.

FOOD JOURNAL
 

  • "I was riveted by your sheer honesty in your journey through trauma, conflict, successes, failures, setbacks, victories and ultimate acceptance of all you’re experiencing. This was an unbelievably candid and RAW account of one family's journey to hell and back. I hope it will serve as a break-through guide for those just starting this maddening journey - I LOVE your honestly, profanity, grittiness and sheer dedication to the one common goal of ultimately killing “Edith”. The love and solidarity you and Tina have for each other, and your entire family is crystal clear. I can’t help but root for you through every harrowing detail of the book."

    Sandra K

  • "Kevin has achieved an extraordinary feat - he has captured the fear and reality of a severe eating disorder and helped others by doing so. My child is in recovery from a different eating disorder and I was devastated that it had happened on our watch - how did we not know! I met with Kevin and after hearing their story I had hope that we would find a way through the challenges - not only the medical profession but parents & teachers should also be better educated on how to identify the early signs. Thank you, Kevin, for a raw, honest, heart wrenching book."

    Katie Nittler

  • “Having spent almost half of my life battling my own disorder in silence, there is nothing more important than getting involved in the healing of a loved one. Eating disorders affect the entire family - and it takes the patience, efforts and support of family to overcome. Kevin demonstrates a Father’s determination to help his daughter; fiercely and with unconditional love. A war cry for scared parents everywhere that you are not alone, and you can overcome!”

    Anonymous